I can make you HAPPY

Exhausted and fed up as the New Year begins? In a major new series for the Mail, PAUL McKENNA explains how – using simple techniques – you can banish the blues... for good

By Paul Mckenna
In his new book I Can Make You Happy, international best-selling author PAUL McKENNA — whose techniques have helped millions to change their lives for the better — reveals his unique formula for making you feel good. In part one of our exclusive series, he shows you how ­everyone can be happier.

You are about to have a life-changing experience. It doesn’t matter whether you’re sad, bored, down, depressed, doing all right or quite content, I’m going to show you a number of techniques that will help you become much happier very soon.

Scientific research shows that happiness levels are not fixed. I’m confident that with only a small amount of ­regular effort over the next few days, I can increase your happiness levels.

By following my simple techniques you can transform your life. You will create a strong, underlying feeling of happiness every day and experience more frequent episodes of joy, love and gratitude.

This system draws on the most recent psychological and scientific advances — and I’ve tested every technique ­personally over and over again. In short, it works. In fact, I believe this book is the most important I’ve ever written.

EVERYONE CAN BE HAPPY

Happiness is a natural human state like hunger, anger, excitement, boredom, neutrality and alertness. ­Absolutely everyone can be happy.

Some of my clients are rich and famous and some are not, but I’ve ­discovered that money and fame ­ultimately make no difference. In terms of learning to be happier, we are all equal. I’ve worked with people who thought they were happy enough, but were amazed to discover there’s no upper limit to happiness.

I’ve also worked with people who had everything — a great job, a family and good health — but they still weren’t happy. Indeed, they felt guilty and angry with themselves for not enjoying their good fortune, and so depressed that they couldn’t see any point to their lives.

When I started taking them through my system, they didn’t believe it would work — and when they began to feel happier, they weren’t sure those feelings would last. But, in the end, their lives really did change.

Some of the people I’ve worked with had been depressed for years, but they soon discovered that the heavy black clouds were lifting. I know what it’s like to feel utterly depressed, to see no point in anything, to not care if I live or die, to be ­completely unable to find any value in anything. And I have found my way back to everyday life and on to real lasting amazing happiness.

Since then, I’ve spent a lot of time working with unhappy people. And I’ve seen scientists amazed at how many of those people, who were supposedly permanently depressed, could actually shift the ­neurological activity in their brain simply by using my psychological techniques.

Some of my clients were actually frightened of being happy. They worried that, after a while, the feeling would fade and they’d feel worse than before because they’d know too much about what they were missing. So every time they got happy, they stopped.

If you feel like this, I recommend you use my system very slowly. Do one exercise at a time, and take as long as you need to get used to it before moving on.

But even these people have found that they can be happier — and not lose their drive.

PROGRAMMING YOUR MIND

I’ve worked with all sorts of people with different problems. Almost all of them were caused by negative programmes running in the unconscious mind.

This happens because you’ve picked up unhelpful ways of thinking and acting that are making you feel bad. When these ­habits are reinforced, your brain ­chemistry is affected.

That’s why you need to ­interrupt that ­pattern and install programmes — like software on a computer — that create ­positive feelings.

Scientific research to back this up is overwhelming: if you relentlessly force yourself to think about positive things, you will change your brain chemistry. Feeling depressed is a physical state. It’s definitely not just imagined or ‘all in the mind’.

Over the past ten years, internationally ­recognised pharmacologist Dr ­Candace Pert has done pioneering work that demonstrates clearly that our moods and understanding are not simply electrical impulses. They are also coded in the neuropeptides, or ­‘messenger ­molecules’, released into our bloodstream.

So one reason that people feel down is that the levels of serotonin and other happiness neurotransmitters in their brain have fallen too low.

Many of us know what it’s like to wake at 3am and find ourselves thinking that life is terrible. This happens because in order to let us dream, our bodies stop producing norepinephrine and serotonin, depriving us of our normal buffers.

A similar problem can occur if our happiness chemistry is depleted during the day. This can be caused by overwork, excessive drug use or even a poor diet — all of which will need to be addressed.

Meanwhile, the techniques I’m showing you today will give you an instant pick-me-up, whether you’re depressed or content.

They will change your physical state by ­getting your body to produce more of those happy chemicals. And, as you repeat the exercises, they’ll bring about a physical change in your brain chemistry by building up new neural pathways and ­associations that move you ­automatically away from ­miserable feelings towards good ones.

THE MEANING OF HAPPINESS

Just in case you think this is all too good to be true, let’s be clear what I mean about increasing happiness.

It doesn’t mean I can get rid of all the pain, difficulty, irritation and suffering in your life. And it doesn’t mean I can make you permanently ecstatic.

The common misconception that ­happiness is being ‘up’ all the time has been magnified by media images of ­laughing, smiling people that are used as a visual shorthand for satisfaction.

Another misconception is that spending time and effort and money to get things such as new clothes or a car will make you happy. Sometimes it will, but the good feeling fades quickly.

True happiness is different. When you ­create a genuine, strong foundation for it, you can have an overall feeling of happiness while experiencing different emotions. You can be excited and happy, or calm and happy. You could be happy running a marathon, lying on a beach or making a cup of coffee. You can be happy even though you don’t look it.

What my techniques will do is make you notice that you’re happy more often than you think. You’ll also find that you don’t need particular things or events to trigger ­happiness; it will just come over you.

If you’ve been feeling depressed or seriously down, you’ll find your life starting to change. And one day, you’ll notice that you’ve begun to think of yourself as a happy person.

Even when bad things happen — as they do to all of us — you’ll feel resilient and able to meet whatever challenges come your way.

Not everyone has to do all of my exercises in order to be happy. Most of us will find that two or three of them will make enough of a difference, and that’s fine. But as I haven’t met you, I can’t predict which specific techniques are going to work best or most quickly for you. So, to guarantee good results, you need to start by doing all of them.

It’s essential that you read through each exercise first, then follow all the instructions, step by step. Resting between steps is fine: little by little, you’ll be moving in the right direction.

Afterwards, you’ll need to repeat all the exercises over and over again, until they’re a natural part of your life.

THE HAPPY STEP-IN

Scientists researching the workings of the brain have discovered that, at a neurological level, the brain reacts in the same way to vivid imagination as it does to reality.

For example, you only have to imagine hearing footsteps behind you as you walk down a dark alley late at night and your heartbeat will quicken. But if you vividly remember a time when you felt wonderfully relaxed on holiday, your heartbeat will slow down and you’ll begin to feel calmer.

In this exercise, you’re going to kick-start feelings of happiness by using your imagination.

1. Think of someone you know or admire who is very happy.
2. Vividly imagine him or her standing in front of you. Notice what he is wearing, how he is standing, where he is looking and what he is doing.
3. Imagine him turning around so you are directly behind him. Now, imagine stepping into this person, so that you see through his eyes. Physically copy his posture: stand as he stands, breathe as he breathes and experience his feelings.
4. Notice where the good feelings are strongest in your body and spread those feelings all around — up to the top of your head and down to the tip of your toes.
5. Now, imagine taking this feeling into your everyday life.

MAKING SPACE FOR CHANGE

When you’re not being pulled and pushed by your emotions, you create more freedom to choose where to direct your attention and what you wish to change. It’s like getting shelter from the wind so that you can catch your breath and look around.

In order to create the space and connection to work with your emotions, the first step is to create stillness so that you can observe them.

This final exercise today is again deceptively simple, yet powerful.

1. Find somewhere you can be undisturbed for a while, with no music, TV or radio. Sit upright with your hands in your lap and your feet flat on the floor.
2. Focus on your breathing. Let it become easier and more regular.
3. Then focus on how you feel. The easiest place to start is to pay attention to the solar plexus area at the front of your body below your ribcage and above your navel.
4. In a calm, gentle voice, describe each of the feelings you experience in your body. For example, ‘I notice a fluttering in my stomach’, ‘I have a soft, tired feeling in my arms’, or ‘I feel the tension in my shoulders melting’. You don’t have to be strictly accurate — just do the best you can. Keep moving your attention from your breathing to your solar plexus and then back to your breathing.
5. Do this for just two minutes and then take a break.

Extracted from I CAN MAKE YOU HAPPY by Paul McKenna, to be published by Bantam on Thursday at £10.99. © 2011 Paul McKenna. To order a copy (p&p free) call 0845 155 0720.

像饥饿、愤怒、兴奋、厌倦、平和、警觉一样，快乐是人类的自然状态，人人无疑都能快乐。一些人有钱有名，但不快乐；一些人认为自己很快乐，却惊奇地发现，快乐没有上限。国际畅销书作家保罗·麦克纳在新作中向读者传授——

【英国《每日邮报》文章】题：我能让你快乐(作者  保罗·麦克纳)

原文提要：国际畅销书作家保罗·麦克纳在新作《我能让你快乐》中揭示让你感觉良好的新配方。

无论你是否悲伤、厌倦、失落、抑郁，还是一切顺利心满意足，我都准备告诉你们若干技巧，让你们马上就比过去快乐很多。

科学研究显示，快乐程度不是固定的。我可以自信地说，今后几天，只要你定期做出一点点努力，我就能提高你的快乐程度。

按照我这些简单的技巧，你可以彻底改变生活。你每天都会产生强烈的、潜在的快乐感，同时更频繁地体验愉悦、爱和感激等情绪。

人人都能快乐

像饥饿、愤怒、兴奋、厌倦、平和、警觉一样，快乐是人类的自然状态，人人无疑都能快乐。我的一些患者有钱有名，但不快乐。金钱和名气没有多大作用。就学会快乐而言，人人平等。我接待过的一些人认为自己很快乐，却惊奇地发现，快乐没有上限。我也曾经接待过样样都不缺的人———有好工作、有家庭、身体健康———但仍然不开心。事实上，他们因为自己这么幸运却仍然不开心而感到内疚和愤怒，他们太郁闷了，觉得生活毫无意义。

刚开始向他们介绍我这套系统时，他们不相信能起作用；当他们开始觉得快乐一点的时候，他们担心这种感觉持续不了多久。但是，最终，他们的生活真的改变了。有些人抑郁多年，但很快就发现乌云散去。我知道极端抑郁、觉得一切都没有意义、把生死置之度外是什么滋味。我已经找到回归正常生活的道路，找到真正的、持久的、奇妙的快乐。

从那以后，我就致力于帮助不快乐的人。我看到甚至令科学家惊异的事情：这么多据认为是永久抑郁的人运用我的心理技术最终改变大脑的神经活动。

一些患者其实是害怕快乐。他们担心快乐过一段时间就会消退，他们担心情况会比从前更糟，因为太清楚自己失去的是什么。所以，一感到快乐，他们就马上不快乐了。

如果你有这样的感觉，我建议你很慢很慢地使用我的方法。每次只做一个练习，慢慢适应以后再继续。

你可能像某些人一样害怕自己感觉快乐以后会太放松。这些人担心，知足长乐会使自己不再渴求成功，从而失去锐气。但是，就算这样的人也发现自己可以更快乐一些，同时不失去干劲。

给思维编程

我接待过各种各样的人，他们有各种各样的问题。

几乎所有问题都源于潜意识里的负面程序。这是因为，你选择了于事无补、使你感觉不佳的思考方法和行为方法。这些习惯巩固下来以后，你大脑的化学过程就会受影响。

因此你需要干预这种模式并安装产生积极感觉的程序，就像给计算机安装软件一样。

支持这一观点的科学研究数不胜数：如果你不屈不挠地强迫自己考虑积极的东西，你就会改变大脑的化学过程。感觉抑郁是一种身体状态，而绝对不只是想像或“头脑在作怪”。

10年来，国际公认的药理学家坎达丝·珀特所做的开创性工作清楚地显示，我们的情绪和认知不只是电子脉冲。它们被译成代码包含在神经肽里，释放到我们的血流中。所以，情绪不佳的一个原因在于，大脑中的血清素和快乐神经传递素含量太低。很多人都知道凌晨3点醒来不由自主想到糟糕的生活是什么感觉。

如果我们的快乐化学元素在白天减少，类似问题也可能出现。造成这种情况的原因包括工作过重、服药过多甚至饮食不佳———这些问题都需要解决。

与此同时，我今天要向你们展示的方法将让你们立刻感到振作，无论你当下是沮丧还是满足。

这些方法让你的身体产生更多的快乐化学物，从而改变身体状态。此外，重复这些练习时，它们会在你的大脑中建立新的神经通路，改变你大脑的化学过程，使你离开痛苦，走向快乐。

快乐的意义

让我们首先澄清提高快乐度是什么意思，以免你认为这过于美好而失真。

提高快乐度不是说我能清除所有痛苦、困难、愤怒和苦难，也不是说我能让你永远保持狂喜。

一种常见误解是，快乐永远“存在”；媒体把一些形象(大笑或微笑的人们)用作满意的“视觉缩写”，更放大了这种误解。

另一种误解是，花时间、精力和金钱获得新衣服或汽车一类的东西能让你快乐。有时候的确如此，但这种快乐很快就会消失。

真正的快乐不一样。当你为快乐创造真正的、坚实的基础，你就可以在总体上感觉快乐的同时经历各种情绪。你可以是激动地快乐，也可以平静地快乐。你可以快乐地跑马拉松，快乐地躺在沙滩上，或者快乐地冲一杯咖啡。

我的技巧将使你注意到自己是快乐的。你也会发现，你不需要特别的东西或事情来引发快乐，快乐就那样向你袭来。有一天，你会注意到，你开始觉得自己是个快乐的人。就算发生了不好的事情(我们都会遇到这样的事)你也会感觉自己心情开朗，能应对任何挑战。

快乐的介入

研究大脑功能的科学家发现，从神经学层面说，大脑对生动想像的反应与对现实的反应一样。比如，深夜，走在漆黑的小巷，只需想像背后有脚步声，你的心跳就会加速。但是，如果你清楚地想起度假期间某个极其轻松的时刻，你的心跳就会放慢，情绪也会镇定一些。

在这个练习中，你要运用想像启动快乐的感觉。想想某个你认识或敬佩的非常快乐的人。想像他或她就站在你面前。注意他穿什么衣服，他站立的姿势，他的眼神和他的动作。想像他转过身，你就站在他身后。现在，想像你化身为他，可以通过他的眼睛去看。模仿他的姿势，像他那样站立，像他那样呼吸，体验他的感受。

注意这种正面情绪在身体的哪部分最强烈，然后把这种情绪扩散出去，向上传到头，向下传到脚尖。现在，想像把这种情绪带到每天的生活中。

当你不被情绪推来搡去的时候，你就拥有更多自由，可以选择去注意什么以及希望改变什么。这就像在风中找到一个庇护所，可以喘口气，环顾一下四周。

为了创造空间和联系来调整情绪，第一步是创造静谧以使自己可以观察这些情绪。最后一个练习仍然极其简单，但非常有效。找一个你不会受干扰的地方，没有音乐、电视或广播。身体坐直，双手放在大腿上，两脚在地面放平。把注意力集中于自己的呼吸。让呼吸变得更顺畅，更规律。然后集中于自己的感受。